Sharpened Perception
by darksideofnight
Summary: "It just seems strange to me," he said. "That a thing which I live for will most undoubtedly be the thing which ends me."


"Liz, what do you live for?" Kid asked, even as the pistol painted her nails at the dining table. She spared him a glance before continuing her work.

"Shopping. Makeup. Doing my nails." She listed dully. Kid's brow furrowed.

"I'm being serious." Her blue eyes met his gold before she set aside the pink polish she'd been administering. She thought for a moment, her eyes moved, seemingly checking off a list, before she nodded to herself.

"Well, you and Patti, for starters. All our friends. Y'know, defeating the Kishin and all that." She thought the answer would be satisfactory, even for her detail-oriented meister. It was his habit to ask questions of a similar nature, deep and thought provoking. Sometimes they led somewhere, sometimes they didn't. Now, however, his brows furrowed even further. "Why?" She retorted, only a bit defensively. "What do _you _live for?" He appeared to consider her question, before answering with the slightest air of melancholy.

"I suppose all those things. Except add symmetry to the list." When he did not elaborate further, she felt a spark of concern. He did not often speak of his neurotic habits, except when he indulged them. He was a private person, that way. She held back a grimace at the thought. Being private didn't help much when he was forced (by his own mind, no less,) to alert everyone to his OCD anytime he had a breakdown. It embarrassed her, but she knew that it embarrassed him, too, on some level.

"So?" The word rang with daring bravado; something she knew from experience would goad him closer to speaking. He sighed.

"When I was…in the book," he began. "The great old one inside spoke to me of the madness of order. It was how he drove me mad." He inadvertently put a hand to his lips, remembering the dark lines which had stitched them shut.

"Yes." Her voice was quiet, matching his tone, a sympathetic reflex that she could not wholly control, but did not resent, either. "I remember that."

"It just seems strange to me," he said. "That a thing which I live for will most undoubtedly be the thing which ends me." He spoke with a great finality, and it held her indignation at bay, forcing her to consider his words.

"Why does it have to end you?" He leaned back, relaxing his posture in a way she rarely saw him do, even in private.

"It already has. Were it not for Black Star, I would likely still be inside the book, insane. Perhaps I would be a Kishin." Liz very nearly rolled her eyes at the mention of the megalomaniacal assassin. But she understood something of his meaning.

"So you have a weakness. We all do, any one of us could succumb to the Kishin's madness." She thought for a moment. "Black Star did too, you know." He shook his head.

"No, not the Kishin's madness. _Mine. _I can feel it, now. The madness of order." She chose to ignore the shot of fear that went through her. It was perhaps his intention to ignite it, an act which she found self-destructive. She stayed quiet, listening. "It was always there, but now that I've felt it, it seems much more…_real_."

"How so?"

"Order. If the world were empty, and only a void, all imbalances would be gone. It would be symmetrical. It would be perfect." His eyes seemed to glaze a bit, and she was reminded of the drug addicts she'd met frequently back in the streets of Brooklyn. Back in her old life. It was disturbing to find poignant patterns in the world which she thought she'd escaped to, but she knew enough of people by now that she refused to let it worry her.

"No! It would be awful! It would be—" He held up a hand to stop her, which she complied with.

"I know." He sighed again. "I know all these things, but madness does not. It makes me a liability." Resignation. It triggered her distraught.

"It does not," she said harshly. "Surely you are not alone? Doesn't Lord Death feel something similar?" He nodded.

"Yes. My father, Asura, Eibon, that awful Excalibur…and that thing inside Eibon's book. They know it, they feel it. Though not specifically order." She groaned a little, her hope of contention crushed by her inquiry.

"Well, only Asura and the guy in the book are _really _liabilities, right? 3 for 5 isn't_ terrible._" Her own encouragement sounded crappy, even to her. "I'm sure when your Dad was a kid, he struggled with it, too, right?" He eyed her in subdued surprise.

"Father was never a child, Liz." She almost gaped, but managed to refrain out of deference to his emotional state. She maintained a serious expression.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He fiddled with the nail polish bottle she'd abandoned earlier.

"Fragment." The following pause was so long she wondered if he'd finished at that odd juncture. "Beings such as Father can fragment their soul into another being. I am such a being." His revelation left her at something of a loss.

"Kid…" He smiled, standing up to leave.

"Precisely." He turned to go, but she grabbed his wrist.

"Wait! Kid…I'm not just going to let you go." They faced each other then. She struggled to find her words, while he waited, seeming sadly patient. "Kid, you may think you're some 'liability' but, well…dammit! I _know _you won't succumb in the same way I know Soul will never become an astrophysicist! It just won't happen!" She paused, amusement snaking into both their faces for a moment, then slipping away. "And besides that, I trust you. I know you'd never achieve balance by wiping everything out." _There, _she thought. Hopefully, her sappy speech would help Kid to figure this out. She nearly choked in surprise when he grasped her hands (both, to allow symmetry.) But she returned his soft, hopeful smile.

"Thank you, Liz. Your faith is…appreciated." He left the dining room, then, and she returned to painting her nails. But the smile never left her lips, in spite of all the things he'd told her. She trusted him, after all.

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A/N: I'm not happy with the ending. But yeah, if I messed up any canon, (or anything) please tell me, because honestly, as much as I love Soul Eater, that whole thing confuses me a bit…but yeah, KidLiz is my jam, so. Please review!


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